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" Taking it All "Written By: Emerald Pillow Warnings: angst and lemon (so far) Pairings: 1x3x1, 3+4 Disclaimer: I don't own GW or the characters, though I'd like to. You can try to sue me for messing up their lives royaly, but all you'll get is my cat that looks like Trowa, but named Duo. Author's note: This is probably the first fic that I started posting before finsihing it. . .so it may take a little longer to get everything up than usual. . .but I hope you enjoy it, and hopefully your requests will push me to finish it. . .since I haven't finished one in a loooooooooong time. Kudos
"Taking it All " Chapter 26 Trowa slowly opened his eyes, and was greeted with a tense silence. He sat up straight, feeling a little out of sorts. He was back home. He tried to remember what had happened, but all he could remember was meeting with Heero. Everything following was a blank. "Quatre?" He was a little weak. From what, he couldn't remember. Finding some energy, he pushed from the bed, knowing that he had felt like this before, but couldn't remember. As the door swung open, he could hear voices. They were faint and hard to make out, but coming from down stairs. Using any energy he could find in himself, he descended the stairs. The voices were louder now, and coming from Quatre's study. There were two of them. One he instantly recognized as Heero's, but the other was a little too soft, and remained a secret until he reached the partially cracked door of the study. He had been correct in deciphering Heero's voice. The Japanese man was inside, obviously angered about something. Quatre was also in the room, as was Wu Fei. Judging by the redness of Quatre's eyes, he had been crying. Seeing this, Trowa wanted to go to him, but something deep inside demanded that he waited. He wasn't sure why, but he listened to that inner voice; it had never been wrong before, so now shouldn't be any different. "I never meant for this to happen." Quatre stated softly, his voice was course from crying. "I just wanted-" "To confine him." Heero finished. "Are you happy now? You got what you wished for; a fucking mindless love slave." "I never wanted that!" "You have a hell of a way of proving it wrong." "That's enough." Wu Fei finally spoke. "If the two of you want to stand there and play childish finger pointing games, then do it later. Right now, there's more important things to worry about." Heero glared at the Arab, a rage flowing through him that he never felt before. He wanted to kill the blonde for what he had done, but knew that it would change nothing. Still, just the fact that the desire was there bothered him. "So what's happening to him?" Heero wondered, allowing his eyes to focus on the plush carpet rather than Quatre. A short silence followed, causing a hint of worry to tug. "The truth is, I don't know." "What?" Both sets of blue eyes lifted toward Wu Fei. "I don't know what's going on. It never turned black before. I can only assume it was due to whatever happened at Yuy's apartment." Quatre turned his gaze toward Heero, not really expecting Heero to give details. How far had they gone? Was this man inside his Trowa again? Tears burned Quatre's eyes. If so, then why couldn't he show sorrow for what had happened? "What did you do to him?" Quatre finally spoke. "He was fine when he left. What did you do?" "I didn't do anything. He was the one that-" Heero thought about the feeling of Trowa's body against his own again. The thin fingers wrapped so tightly around him; the warm tongue caressing his own. . .he felt ready to cry, but forced himself to swallow them. "You have to free him. That's all there is to it. This isn't right, nor is it fair to him." "Of course you would say that." "Of course I would, I actually care enough to consider him." "Why do you always insist on being this way? I love Trowa more than anything, and he loved me. Why were you so intent on destroying that? He was happy." "You loved him so much that you let him lie in a hospital for eight weeks, virtually alone? You allowed him to keep quiet every time he was around any of your family, friends and coworkers, without a word. The prenup is a classic example of how much you love him. Let's not forget that you probably weren't going to say a damn thing about his not inviting Catherine to his own wedding. You've done nothing but ignored him. Not just in crowds, but even in the bedroom. You never once stopped to ask him what he wanted. It was always about you. Don't look so surprised Quatre. He's told me everything. Every thing that you've done to him; every way you take advantage of his kindness and passive ways. And every time he told me something, he made excuses for you. Every damn time, he tried to understand and forced himself if he couldn't. If that's love, then I don't love him." Quatre bowed his head as Heero scorned him. Even Wu Fei was a little surprised by Heero's bluntness and calmed anger. It was more of the calm anger that worried Wu Fei, and he silently wondered if he would be able to protect Quatre if things became violently physical. "As far as I'm concerned, you're no different than that damn mercenary that beat and raped him." "That's enough." Trowa finally allowed his presence to be known as he entered the room. His attention was solely on Quatre's tears. "Heero, you've gone too far. You had no right to talk to him like that. How dare you compare them. They are nothing alike." Quatre barreled over to his boyfriend, embracing him tightly. "Trowa, don't. Go rest." Trowa collapsed to his knees, pulling Quatre with him, and cradling the Arab as if trying to protect him from Heero's words. His green eyes were set to Heero in a strong hold. "How can you betray me like that? You were my best friend long before I even knew what those words meant. I told you those things from trust, and you use them like this. Heero, I want you to leave and don't come back." Quatre pulled slightly to look into Trowa's face. There was anger in his eyes; either from the betrayal, or Heero's last statement. Quatre then turned slightly, wondering what the once perfect soldier would do. Surprisingly, he did as Trowa told him. In reality, there wasn't much else he could at the moment. As much as he hated, he left. As long as Trowa was angry with him, his staying was meaningless. It was when he left the room that his tears finally spilled. You got what you wished for; a fucking mindless lover. Trowa stared down at the crowd gathered in the garden of Quatre's estate. He had lost count of how many times Heero's words ran through his mind. As much as he tried to forget them, he couldn't. He hadn't spoken to his long term friend since that afternoon. In fact, he had barely spoken to anyone, including Quatre; yet here he was, only moments away from committing his life to the Winner president. Deep down, it felt wrong not seeing or talking to Heero. It left him somewhat empty inside. He tried to ignore it by throwing himself completely into the wedding plans, and for the time, it worked. But every night, when there was nothing to do but lay and listen to Quatre's soft breathing, he kept playing everything through his mind. He had lost countless hours of sleep because of the thoughts, and loneliness. He had even silently cried some nights. Quatre didn't seem to be any wiser of it though. Mainly because the tears usually coaxed him to sleep, and Quatre would go out of his way to make sure he didn't wake Trowa each morning. When he woke naturally, he would scorn himself for crying. Since that day, Trowa had unknowingly called Heero's cell, wanting so much to talk with him. . .but after the fourth digit, he realized what he had been doing, and hung up. He forced himself not to answer Heero's calls either; nor listen to any of the voice mails that had been left. He would just delete them without taking time to here what was wanting to be said. There was a light tap on the door before it opened to expose Wu Fei dressed in a black tux. Trowa didn't bother tearing his eyes from the crowd. He only acknowledged Wu Fei's entrance from the reflection in the glass. Silence lingered between them for a few moments before Wu Fei cleared his voice and spoke. "It's almost time, are you ready?" As suspected, Trowa didn't respond. Catherine didn't show up. . .nor did manager or anyone else from the circus. By time they learn of the wedding from the news, he would already be Mr. Quatre Winner. When Catherine or anyone else calls to complain, he would simply lie and explain that the invitations that were never sent had gotten lost in the mail. Quatre had tried desperately to change his mind from not inviting them, but he couldn't tell if the Arab was being sincere, or disallowing Heero being right. He pushed his mind from the Japanese man as he had limitless times since they last seen each other. "Trowa?" He lifted his gaze to find Wu Fei sitting next to him on the window seat. "Is this what you really want?" Though it was Wu Fei speaking, all he heard was Heero's voice, and tears brimmed his eyes. Seeing his friend like this, Wu Fei pushed to his feet with a deep sigh. He reached into his pocket and pulled a disc. He had promised Heero that it was properly disposed of, but he couldn't bring himself to actually do as much. Maybe it was because of all the trouble he had gone through to retrieve it; or perhaps it was due to the true emotions captured on it; whatever the reason, he couldn't destroy it as Heero wanted. Wu Fei offered the disc to Trowa. At first, Trowa only stared upward at him, before numbly accepting. "Listen. . .Yuy didn't want me to give you this, but maybe you should see it. Perhaps it will help you to decide the right path for yourself. I just want to see you happy Trowa. . .not confuse you." That said, he leaned forward and kissed the top of his head before leaving. Trowa stared at the disc, wondering why Heero didn't want him to see its content. Though he had fallen extremely short, Wu Fei had been by Trowa's side since he told Heero to leave. He trusted Wu Fei's judgment. It was that trust that pushed him from the window seat and over to the player. He turned on the TV. Before he could hit 'play', the door opened again. Only this time, it was Quatre. "What are you doing? We're not-" "I know." Quatre assured, closing the door and leaning against it. "I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to make sure this is what you want." Trowa's eyes dropped from his groom. Even Quatre had made a habit of posing the question. It was starting to get annoying. "Why is everyone asking me that? I made a decision." "But sometimes, people's feelings change. . .naturally change." Quatre pushed from the door and kneeled before his lover. "Trowa, I've done you a great wrong. That crystal never belonged to my father. I bought it from some stranger that claimed it had the power to steal selective memories. I wanted you to forget what you had with Heero. I thought I could be a better person, a better boyfriend, if only I had a second chance. . .but I couldn't. Even with everything you felt for him erased, you were still drifting toward him." "Quatre-" "You chose Heero." Trowa's eyes lifted instantly at this. "What?" "You chose him of your own free will. In Paris. . .you told me that you were in love with Heero, and that's who you wanted to be with." Tears spilled from Quatre's eyes, and as much as it hurt, he continued talking. "You had an affair with him for six months before we went to France. . .and in those six months, he made you feel the way I couldn't; the way you should have been feeling. Trowa, I really do love you, and I thought that being with me would be better, easier for you, but ever since you told him to leave. . .it's as if you were a soldier again. You're not happy, and it is all my fault. I wanted to keep you to myself, and I ended up costing you the love you really deserve. "All this time, I thought he wouldn't be good for you because he was so emotionally detached; but that's exactly what you need. Someone who understands what it's like. I took that from you. Trowa, I'm so sorry." He reached up, clasping the hook of the silver chain encircling Trowa's neck. He removed it, tears spilling, and heart trembling with sobs. "Go to him Trowa. Please. You need him as much as he needs you. I want you to be happy, and he's the only one that can do that for you." Quatre pushed to his feet, wiping his tears and shoving the necklace into his front left pocket. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go tell the three hundred guests that there won't be a wedding today." Quatre turned to leave, but as his hand clasped the knob, he felt Trowa's arms around him in a tender embrace. "Are you dropping me on our wedding day?" "I'm not blind Trowa. I can feel the emptiness in your heart. I can't say 'I do', nor hear you say it without fully meaning it. Please, just go with him. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't." "Is that what you really want?" "I gave up the right to have what I want a while ago Trowa." Trowa slowly removed his arms as Quatre allowed himself from the room. Once the door closed, Trowa held up his left fist. As it opened, a crystal slid between his fingers, swinging before his green eyes. A crystal that held the ability to forget chosen memories. Trowa closed his eyes, sighed, and clutched it tightly in his left hand. Such an item should be destroyed; but beforehand, it held one more possible task. His eyes then shifted back to the player.
Heero looked down at the bottle in his hand. Cold medicine. The bottle of cough syrup he had bought for Trowa when he was sick. He lightly ran his thumb along the bottle, knowing that he would never have to purchase another for the rest of his life. He closed his eyes to block his tears. He could still remember Trowa's cough. . .the way he whined over having to take the medicine. . .the way he seemed to fit so perfectly into Heero's arms. He placed his free hand over his eyes, scorning himself for every mistake that he had made leading to this. Quatre had lied. No matter how hard Heero would have tried, that crystal would have kept him in a friend's position. He should just assassinate him, and get it over with; but Trowa would never forgive him. Maybe this was best. With Quatre he wouldn't ever want for anything. Quatre would do anything for him, except let him go. He clutched the bottle, hiding it as Duo stepped into the room. "Boy, you didn't waste any time packing." The American teased, but even his smile lacked the normal happiness. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're more than ready to leave the rest of us behind." Heero didn't respond, he only stared at a random area of carpet. "Things aren't going to be the same without you here buddy. . ." Heero knew that Duo was going to start crying. He knew that the instant Duo appeared that morning to help him finish packing. In truth, Heero wasn't sure if he could handle tears right now. Duo sat next to his friend, engulfing him in a hug. "I'm going to miss you. . .a lot." "I can't stay here anymore." Heero whispered, tightening his hold on the bottle, nearly to the point of breaking it. Duo kissed the side of his head. After the disc's discovery, Heero came clean to Duo about the affair; not completely, but enough to quench his curiosity thirst. "Could you stay if I told you that they didn't get married?" Heero slightly titled his head to view Duo. "Scout's honor." "You were never a scout." "No, but I've also never lied to you. He's been crashing with me and Wu Fei the last couple of days. Had I been home, I guess I would have known that." "What happened?" Duo shrugged. "I'm not exactly sure. One minute, everything was ready to row, and the next, Quatre's standing at the alter, apologizing and telling everyone that plans have been canceled. He's been really broken up about it." "So, until last night, you've been at his side, comforting him?" Duo nodded. "Hey, had I known you were hurting like this, I would have been here for you too. Sometimes I really wish I could be in two places at once." "It's okay Duo. Unlike him, I'm use to not having anyone here for me." "That's not fair Heero." "Life's not fair, is it?" Heero pushed Duo from him and stood straight, leaving his back as the only view. "He loses his toy; you don't get to comfort me; and I never get to see the only person that I really gave a fuck for." "That's a really cynical attitude." Both Duo and Heero turned to find Trowa standing at the doorway. "Yet, way wardly faltering." Heero glanced over at Duo, half expecting the American had something to do with this. Yet his surprised expression was pure. "Duo, give us a few minutes, without eavesdropping." Duo pushed from the bed, and left, closing the door behind him. Heero returned his back to Trowa. As much as it hurt to have gone so long without seeing him; it hurt more to have him standing a mere few feet away. "I'm sorry Heero. For what I said to you. I don't want you to leave my life. You're the only stable thing in it. . .and the only thing worthwhile. I don't hate you for betraying me. I understand why you said what you did to him. If it were me, I would have done the same. Can you forgive me for how I treated you?" "Are you making fun of me?" "No. I'm trying to apologize to you." "Why should it matter?" "Because I want to be with you." "Let me guess. . .Quatre finally found a conscious, and he told you to come to me. That's why you're here." "Actually, you're missing a large part of it. Quatre did release me. He told me to come to you because you're the only one that could make me happy. . .because you were the one that I chose of free will. If I'm capable of feeling that strongly for someone, why wouldn't I return to them?" Placing the syrup bottle on the dresser, Heero turned around to face Trowa, and his heart swelled. He looked good. Thinner, but still good. "You think that coming to me is going to make everything right again? That we can just pick up right before Quatre ripped your memories away? Especially after betraying you?" "I told you that it doesn't matter. You waited six months for me to decide. Six months of sitting back, watching me with Quatre, and still providing me with the kindness that only you could. Even when I disallowed any knowledge of you giving that to me. I'd be lucky you even consider giving me another chance after everything I put you through." "It wasn't your fault. I just don't want you coming to me because you feel an obligation. Or that-" "I had a feeling you would say something like that. I'm not coming back to you as an obligation, or because it's easier. I'm coming back because, at one time, I did chose you Heero. I told Quatre that I was in love with you. That's why I'm coming to you with a proposition." Trowa reached out his closed hand. When it opened, the Hybrid's eye rested on his palm. "A chance to start fresh. Since I can't remember the times we had, it wouldn't be fair that you could. But if we start at the same point, then we can connect as we once did." Heero's eyes lifted from the crystal to meet Trowa's emeralds. "We can fall in love again, the right way, with no further interference." "Is that why you've been staying with Wu Fei? To learn everything you can about this necklace and to stage this proposal?" Trowa nodded. "I'm assuming that there's probably a lot of memories you don't really want to give up, but wouldn't it be worth it to start over without Quatre?. . .without the hurt toward each other? Without one of us being at the finish line, and the other at start?" Heero stepped forward, and cupped Trowa's outstretched hand in his own. He leaned further to taste Trowa's lips. He felt the Latin melt in his kiss. "I've always been at the finish Trowa. . .and you've always been afraid to pass half way. I did wait six months for you, and I wouldn't mind waiting again. Only this time would be easier since I know it's me at the finish that you're heading." He cupped Trowa's neck in his hand and rested their foreheads together. "I don't want to hurt you any more than you already are. In order for your plan to work, I'm not the only one that'll have to give up memories." That said, he pulled the crystal from Trowa's grasp, and held it firmly in his left hand. "You have no ideal how much I want to destroy this thing. . .but I don't know how it would affect you; or if it would at all." His free hand caressed Trowa's cheek as he spoke. "I already told Wu Fei that we'd keep it for him. And before I die, to make sure it is destroyed." A small smile pulled Heero's lips as he kissed Trowa's forehead and pulled him into a tight embrace. Trowa rested his cheek against Heero's chest, feeling for the first time completely comfortable. "I love you Trowa. I've wanted to tell you that for so long. Before anything else happens, I need you to know it." "Obviously, I already knew; I just forgot." Suddenly, Trowa pulled away from Heero and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out a envelope and presented it to Heero. Confused, Heero opened to find two first class tickets to Kyoto. "You don't have to accept them. Quatre gave them to me this morning; figuring that it would be impossible enough to get a coach ticket so late, let alone one next to you. He pulled some strings, and managed these. He said that it was his way of saying 'sorry' and 'good luck'." "Are you guys on good terms again?" "Truthfully, I don't know. Aside this morning, we hadn't really talked since the wedding. He just showed up on Fei's porch with the tickets." "How do you feel about accepting them? If you're going to feel obligated to him, then we can just use the ones I bought." "Ones you bought?" "I purchased two, just in case you would be joining me." Trowa smiled and gave a short chuckle. "In that case, we can do coach. I think I've had more than enough first class to last me a few life times." ~
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